Saturday, May 16, 2009

Doing the Work, Needing the Heart

I know I mention this something about me regularly, but once again, I have failed to do my writing first, and now I drag to the computer to do it. Why, oh, why can't I be one of those Women of Character who fill their whole days with importance and meaning? Why do I peter out of energy and inspiration after ten a.m? I do stuff after that (see how I need to justify me?) but it's rarely dazzling or inspired or fabulous. Its more like folding laundry or vacuuming or running carpool. And dinner, for which I muster excitement proportional to my hunger.

I want to get hungry to write.

But until I do, I will continue to bang it out, to pound keys till 500 words issue forth.

This is completely counter to the best writing book (for me) "IF YOU WANT TO WRITE" by Brenda Ueland. She says if you force it, your spirit dies and your writing is crap. (She never says that. She is a woman of character as well as manners.) She says, among other things, that the creative power is there, and we have to get ourselves out of the way and let it sing out of us. Okay, she's brilliant, really. But sometimes I am among the weak and needy who create lists of to-dos, ready to cross off and see my progress. And I am among the weakest who put things on the list already accomplished, so my progress looks better than it is.

Oh, the shame.

But Ueland's best bit is about how criticism kills, and how the only constructive devices are true applause and cheering.

I love the sound of that.

Bring it on.

1 comment:

  1. The thought could be raised that even though you don't feel that the things your doing are meaningful and inspirational, to others around you they are. I know that personally I'm inspired by you all the time, by how you seem to have such a handle on everything in your life and many other things. And quite possibly you inspire your kids everyday but the little things you do like folding laundry and cooking dinner because it gives them somone to look up to and yearn to be like.


If you want to say it, I want to hear it. Bring it on.