She found Kid 4 a turtle that carries no salmonella (until he bathes it in egg - we hope that doesn't happen soon) and is virtually stink-free. Also, it doesn't die if you forget to feed it.
Introducing the grow-in-water pet turtle.
(Okay, I can't find a photo. But it's actually very cute.)
It should grow up to 6 times its size in 72 hours in a bowl of water. Or a series of progressively larger bowls of water, if you're us. So there it is. One happy boy, one superhero sister, one stinkless pet, and one relieved me.